Rantings of a Crazy White Woman

Wow, it has been a while since I sat down to inform the world about my wonderful, crazy, demanding family. Not much to report except I have taken my name off the nomination list for Mom of the Year. I have decided that emotionally scarring your children should be an Olympic Sport, I would probably win gold. I know that God has a plan and I think it is to reinforce the fact that I put my mom through hell as a child. My clone has definitely made me question how I survived and realize that my mom must be one patient person. Many questions from my childhood are being answered, like, what were our parents thinking letting us loose on the farm while they drank and played card? I know! I know! Pick me! I have the answer! I woke up this morning wanting a stiff drink at 6am, of course that is socially unacceptable, but it doesn't change the fact that I wanted one, well ten, anyways, being the responsible adult that I am I will wait until tonight. This week has been long, hard and just when you think everything is going to turn around your 3 year old vomits all over your bed, and that is the hilight of the week. I also discovered that panty liners work for many things, including protecting the before mentioned 3 year old from having to clean out his underwear, not that I would make him clean out his undies, but you get the point. They work great but I found out that men really are clueless. I asked my husband to make sure he put one in the kids pants and guess what-are you guessing? He responds with, "I don't know how to use them." SERIOUSLY? Is this rocket science? I am just glad it wasn't a tampon, those things confused me when I was 13, remember this is a 36 year old man who is confused about how to pull the strip off the pad, then when the strip is removed the sticky area attaches to the underwear. They actually have pictures on the package in case you are confused. Maybe it was the quiet pad wrapper that really played tricks with his intelligence. I am not sure and unfortunately for Jeff I don't care if it insults his manhood to put a panty liner in his son's pants. He wasn't the one cleaning them undies up. So my son has been sick since Monday, I have had to reschedule multiple appointments, my birthday came and Tyson was acting a lot better so we decided to eat out for my birthday. That went fine, except Tyson started throwing up again once we got home, so now I feel responsible cause I made him do to much before his body was ready. I never thought I would make it to 35 so I thought it was cause to celebrate, however, I was the only one who felt this way. My husband didn't forget my birthday, he just forgot to do anything for it. Oh well, life is great and to top off the end of my week, a freaking snow day. Which translates into, a day of listening to my girls yell at each other and be mean to one another and sit and trash my house together. It is AWESOME! I love it. So anyways, I love my family, but I wish I could start drinking at 6am.

Here I am up at one a.m. trying to decide what to write about. I need to brag about Lydia, she has moved up to Level 2 in gymnastics. She seems to really enjoy doing it. I am excited for her. Acacia has taken time off from gymnastics because of basketball. Acacia enjoys being part of a team, but isn't quite sure what to think of that ball coming at her, duck and run, mostly. She has a pretty good shot when she is not being blocked. She is so sweet and when her team beat her best friends team she felt bad for them. I on the other hand was thinking it was a freaking awesome win, in your face, nah-nah, but I kept that all in my head. Acacia is so completely embarrassed by me at the games cause I cheer to loud. I seriously should not watch sports, I get into it too much. Well, most sports, I can't get into T-Ball, but this summer I am going to try. I like coach pitch and what-not, but t-ball, I just can't do it. The girls will both be out for soccer this spring, the only downfall to soccer is it is usually freezing cold weather. I don't do cold so I usually watch from the car, I am not the best soccer mom, but I'm going to try harder to suck it up and sit on the freezing bench, or grass, or chair or whatever I can find to freezerburn my ass to.

I just realized I want to spell freeze with an a, as in freaze. I swear I am losing all abilities to read and write and spell. Probably due to mind mush caused from my children's constant needs.

Jeff shaved random bald spots in his head this week. Anyone who thinks Jeff is mild mannered, let me tell you, his alter ego is one crazy dude. Of course he was trying to pull off the new look for spring, Mange. He is actually just a dork who was putting the shit on one of the guys he works with. I guess that went well, he didn't get shanked.

My puppies are all doing well, they are just so flippin' adorable. Annabelle is the little girl, she is a fat roly-poly of a pup. Amos the brown one has a home in Hutch and will be ready to move in two weeks and R.J. is the black runt of the litter. They are on their way to being potty trained, I am working on it big time.

So, I have made a really hard decision. My sweet kitty Socrates has to be put to sleep. He is only ten months old, but I have put a lifetime of care into this cat. I know some people think I am crazy for loving my animals, but my children love them too. The children are going to experience loss for the first time, they don't quite understand, but they are saddened to think Socks won't be with us anymore. Anyone who has encountered Socks pretty much can't help but fall in love, it's hard not to when you see him sway across the floor and do his Stevie Wonder impersonation. It will be hard saying good-bye but at least I know he will go to kitty heaven.

a new beginning

A new year is here and I am inspired to become a better mom and wife. Last year was wonderful in so many ways and I was able to help out my friends and family, but this year my focus is on my three beautiful children and my wonderful husband. I officially ended my daycare duties on Monday the 12th, and though I will miss the twins, it was time. I volunteered to help them if they got in a bind and I had 12 wonderful months with the twins. However, they needed better care than I could provide since my nail business is getting busier and busier and I did not feel right confining them to a play pen when they are at an age where they want to explore and investigate, which can get dangerous if someone is not giving them undivided attention. Their mom and dad are well aware that I will always be here if they need me so I feel relieved that all ended on a happy note.

January is always a busy month due to 3 out of the 5 of us have birthdays. This means special days for special people. Jeff turned 36 on January 9 and for his birthday I actually cooked. For all of you who know me this is quite an event, I DO NOT LIKE TO COOK. I am resolving to do more cooking for my family this year, but I am still having difficulty enjoying the process. So we had twice-baked potatoes, steak and salad and cake, of course, birthday cake. I can't believe that my husband is 36 because that means I am pushing 35 and at one time I questioned whether I would make it to 30. I am amazed at how fast time flies but I am thrilled that I am still here to enjoy the ride. Now that Jeff's special day is out of the way it is time for the girls. The next week will be constant activity. Acacia has her first basketball game on Saturday the 17th, she has a pretty good shot, but doesn't like the aggressiveness of the plays. I can totally understand, that was my biggest problem with basketball when I was young, but as long as she is trying her best I am proud. So, after her game it is home for the extended family birthday party for both the girls, then later in the evening Acacia's friends will be coming over and we will head to the movies and then home for a sleepover. Then there is Lydia's birthday and we will celebrate that on the 24th with her friends. Her birthday falls on the 100th day of school, so it will be one big party all day long for her, she will probably expect that every year now-haha. Lydia is still in gymnastics and doing well, but she is excited for soccer to start this spring, I am going to give it my best and make it to all of my kids games this year, I missed quite a few last year, but I am going to do better this year. What is funny is Acacia doesn't really like it when I go to her games because I cheer to loud, I just say "good job" and "way to go" and she is embarrassed that her mom is the only one she hears. I will work on that volume control thing I tell my kids they lack! HMMMMM, I wonder if they are kinda like their mommy?

My family grew a little bit in December with the addition of three pups, they are all spoken for at the moment, but they are just so darn cute. I may have created my own designer breed of dog, I haven't looked it up, but these little darlings are Bichonapomapoos. Can you say that three times without laughing? All of my cats and dogs are doing well, but Socrates, our special needs kitty started having lots of seizures after going without for about a month, so he started on meds and will have to stay on them for life. They also have to test his blood to make sure the meds aren't killing him slowly. If we don't see improvement at the end of this month we have decided that the most humane thing to do is have him put to sleep, so I keep hoping these meds work, cause I know it will not be easy to let him go. I just want to do the right thing and sometimes that is the hardest thing.

I haven't mentioned Tyson, so a little info about my little man. He is a freaking comic. Last night he put a dvd case down his pants and was dancing around, why? We have no clue. He painted his toenails blue with a marker-why? Why not! He laughs like a crazy man for no reason and makes you laugh too. He loves school and his friend Jazwynn, her name is Jazlynn, and really there is no way to describe a child who is more of a physical kid than a talker. He is a child of few words, but lots of actions and those actions are usually freaking hilarious. Nothing really bothers him and he makes everything better just by being him. It is the best!

So, I hope everyone is doing well and enjoys all their blessings. I am going to continue to enjoy mine.